Cheryl Goh the inconsistent blogger

Trying on leather shoes without socks – the China way

I accompanied my friend Steve to a shoe shop in Shanghai several weeks ago. He was looking to buy a pair of leather work shoes and soon spotted one which he liked. He got the sales assistant to bring him a pair in his size and sat down to try them on.

The sales assistant gave a disapproving look as she immediately noticed he was wearing flip flops and therefore had no socks on.

Now there are two very good reasons why shoe shops should provide socks for customer who wish to try on covered up shoes:

1 People with broad feet tend to have difficulty slipping on NEW leather shoes without socks on and boy did Steve has broad feet, and

2 From the store’s point of view, socks helps reduce the shoe’s wear and tear from the sweat and stretch of people trying it on.

The sale assistant asked Steve to wait while she ran behind to get what we both presume would be a pair of socks. Instead she returned with two transparent plastic bags.

It seems that in China, you get plastic bags (which are reused – I assume for environmental reasons) instead of socks when trying on shoes.

Although the sensation of having plastic instead of fabric wrapped around your foot was pretty awkward, not to mention it looked ridiculous – Steve left the shop with a new pair of shoes in hand.

If Looks Could Kill, You’d Be Lying On The Floor

In my entire lifetime, I’ve met less than a handful of people through the Internet. Call me traditional, but I’m inclined to believe that a guy who approaches me online is more likely to be a child pedophile or a serial rapist than say, a guy I meet through a mutual friend. While I personally know three couples who’ve tied the knot after getting to know each other through the Internet, I’ve had no such luck and tend to attract cyberspace’s greatest low lives:

 

So anyway, let’s just say one day an attractive person messages you via Friendster or MySpace or some other social networking/dating site, and after several email exchanges and MSN conversations, you discover that both of you share common interest and have the same wave lengths. A few telephone conversations into the wee hours of the morning - confirm the presence of chemistry, and both of you decide to met up.

You put on your best clothes and rock up to meet her - full of anticipation.

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To your great horror, she lied about her looks but nothing else.

What would you do?

Would you be polite and try to make things work?

Or would you be so pissed by the deceit, you’d storm off?

Would you still try to have sex with her (yes, I know many desperate men) and take off the second you ejaculate?

Or would you scream at her in your best Hokien?

 

Well according to this news article, a 17-year-old boy in northeastern China was so disappointed with the looks of a woman he met over the Internet that he hanged himself after seeing her face-to-face.

 

I would die to see what the chick actually looks like.

 

The unnamed teenager first contacted the woman — known by her chat moniker “Qunjiaofeiyang”, or “Flying Skirt” — using the popular Chinese online messaging software QQ, Xinhua news agency said.

The girl described herself as a beautiful 19-year-old and the pair chatted on the Web for weeks before arranging a December 26 rendezvous in the nearby city of Mudanjiang, in far northeastern Heilongjiang province.

The boy arrived to discover the woman far less attractive than advertised and 10 years older than him, Xinhua said.

The boy immediately returned home, lost his appetite, and four days later hanged himself from a tree.

 

This brings a whole new meaning to the term “killer looks“. 

I’m Balding, Awkward, and Short. And I Can Bed Any Girl I Want On the Planet.

Sounds too good to be true?

Well according to Neil Strauss, author of The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists (a book that’s fast becoming the bible for sexually frustrated men everywhere), the key to unlocking a women’s heart and legs, lie in executing a detailed set of rules which can be easily applied by anyone.

Did you say ANYONE?

Yup according to Strauss, ANYONE can end involuntary celibacy, and that includes obsess World of WarCraft folks, by understanding and manipulating the opposite sex.

The book details Strauss’s induction into the community and his rise from “average frustrated chump” to becoming a “master pick-up artist” under his pseudonym, Style.

 The underlying premise is that it doesn’t matter if you are short and balding and still live with your parents. If you’ve got a good line and exude confidence and know how to manipulate people, the babes will swoon.

Some of the escapades of the author and other PUAs – pick-up artist – mentioned in the book borders on the unbelievable (he makes threesomes and picking up platinum blonde models sound like child’s play), so much so that the author finds it essential to clearly point out that the book is NOT a work of fiction.

If you’ve ever struggled with opening lines, maintaining your target’s interest, exuding confidence and getting a hot chick’s number without seeming too needy, this is a fascinating and often hilarious read.

It also has a dark side which adds depth and character to the book -

Strauss describes how he loses interest in everything EXCEPT picking up women and in fact feels compelled to hit on them almost constantly. He holds seminars on seduction. He posts to message boards about seduction. He lives in a house full of guys whose sole interest is seduction — some who spend thousands of dollars attending seminars around the country.

For every obsession, there is a community to support and suck you in deeper. I thoroughly enjoyed reading how what lies in between a women’s legs, can morph needy men into larger than life figures.

Watch Neil Strauss’s amazing transformation On ABC Primetime

Best Christmas Presents For Those You Hate

It’s just one of those days. I feel so frustrated it’s frustrating. I hate whining. It’s a vicious circle, the more you whine, the worse you feel, which makes you whine ever more, which makes you feel even worse. Which is why I am channeling all this negative, angsty energy into something semi-positive:

A list of things to give to people you hate.

It is after all Christmas and there are bound to be people you are oblige to give presents to, even though you completely hate their guts, e.g. your boss, your in-laws, your boyfriend’s sister, etc etc.  :D. Oh, by the way, there’s a special place in HELL for people who make appointments which cause you cancel or delay plans, only to subsequently not turn up without an explanation… Now, on with the list

1. For the virginal, God-fearing, pious girl from your church who does not smoke or drink whom your parents totally adore and pray to God every night that you’ll follow her exemplementary way of life: A t-shirt she can wear to Sunday School.



2. For the gushing new parents that keep going on and on and on about how wonderfully fulfilling it is to have a child, and can’t stop asking, when is your turn, it’s about time you aren’t getting any younger, completely ignoring the fact that you are neither married nor engaged: It’s a tie between non-washable, permanent crayon/markers (I’d pick this if the mum is a compulsive cleaner**evil grin) and the loudest most repetitive toy you can possibly find. Preferably a toy which makes a noise after the kid has stopped playing with it for a while, like a fire engine which rings it’s siren after one minute of non-activity to coax the kid to play with it more.



3. For the bitter, unmarried, accountant in her late forties who runs through every detail in your monthly claims and ask questions like, “Why is your mileage claim 5.87 bucks higher than the month before?” and insists on going through each and every minute detail on your itemized cellphone bill, and who’s sole purpose in life is to share her misery: A Magic Eight Ball: The Spinster’s Edition. Answers should include the standard: Outlook not so good, Don’t count on it, Better not tell you now, to the more anal, Maybe, if you weren’t so ugly, In your next lifetime and The ship has sailed.



4. For a relative or friend you dislike from overseas: A pair of free weights for them to carry back to their home country. P.S. The heavier the better! 
   

So tell me, what would you give to someone you hate?

 

 

What’s Worst Than Hanging Your Dirty Linen In Public?

Inspired by a flat dweller who got owned

The Christmas season is soon approaching,

Your valet’s limits it’s fast encroaching,

You try to be thrifty, cut spending by fifty,

In preparation for this loathsome day.

 

Start taking public transport you must,

Otherwise your presents wont be as robust,

You imagine the tremor of your wife’s displeasure,

And have Maggi -in-a-cup over lunch at a cafe.

 

You save by conserving water and electricity,

And terminate your postpaid line with Digi,

You stop drinking and smoking to boost your savings,

Colleagues and friends start calling you a weirdo.

 

Your savings soon touch the sky,

That Tiffany & Co diamond ring you can buy,

It all looks well, until your neighbor tells,

Of the recycled condoms air-drying from your window